Relationship Expectations: Don’t set yourself up for failure
When you enter a relationship, you (probably) hope that it will last for a while. While it’s hard to truly predict the lifespan of any one relationship there are a number of ways to set up it up to fail. Now, no relationship is perfect, and you can’t assume that your partner will never hurt your feelings or get mad at you for something you’ve said or
done, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t have an excellent long-term relationship well after the honeymoon period has ended. There are ways to foster success and ways to definitely hurt your chances. Learning the things to avoid is a great way to make sure you’re not setting yourself up for failure. Here are some things to take into
consideration at the beginning of a relationship to help it last for the long haul.
Don’t rush couple therapy: Don’t try to rush milestones and reach specific relationship “goals” too soon. Insisting that you are “official” after two weeks of dating or that you meet your partner’s parents within a month? Maybe that’s a little too much too soon. Patience is important. If you feel like you aren’t progressing or things are taking too long, it’s ok to
bring up your concerns, but don’t stress out if your partner wants to take things slow in the beginning.
Maintain your independence: Sure, it’s great to have a partner in crime to always hang out with but don’t forget about your life before your new honey. Try to make time for the things that you were into before you got together as not to lose a sense of yourself and your independence. As a bonus, you’ll have more to talk about when you and your partner to get together, and if things don’t work out, it won’t be a shock to go back to how things were before you were together.
Allow yourself to be venerable: The easiest way to set yourself up for failure in a relationship is not letting your guard down. Not allowing yourself to be vulnerable is one of the worst things you can do to if you intend to maintain a relationship long term. Is it hard to let your guard down and show someone how you really feel? Sure. However, the reward far outweighs the risk. Ensuring that you let someone know how you feel can make them feel wanted, secure and hopeful for a fulfilling relationship. Not allowing yourself to be vulnerable can make a partner feel unwanted and lose interest. If you want a healthy, long-term relationship, make sure you let your guard down and encourage your partner to do the same.
Want the strongest chance at success? Give couples therapy Fort Lauderdale Fort Lauderdale a try, we have the skills, knowledge, and expertise to help you work through any challenges you’re having in your relationship. Turn those markers for failure into the building blocks of a successful long-term relationship. What are your most useful tips for fostering a strong and trustful relationship? Anything that you’ve tried that doesn’t work?
Christiane Blanco-Oilar, Ph.D. offers compassionate psychological services for individuals and couples therapy Fort Lauderdale. I enjoy working with individuals and couples going through life transitions, relationship challenges or identity exploration, or those experiencing grief and loss, depression, anxiety, postpartum depression and eating disorders. My goal is to help you recognize, understand and have compassion for how you may have developed less-than-ideal ways of dealing with specific areas of your life.